Day 1

Taken from an email.

Sheer chaos. First day of class was yesterday. Here's an idea of the schedule:

8:00 AM - 10:15 prob stats
10:30 - 12:30 Team meeting
1:15 - 3:30 Managerial Effectiveness
3:45 - 5:30 Team meeting - prob stats case
6:15 - 7:15 Marketing club meeting
7:30 - 8:30 General Management club meeting
8:00 - 9:00 Leadership Development Initiative

So, I bailed at 7:15 after starting to hit that dazed, comatose phase. I've got more homework than God ever intended for one human being AND my laptop is in shambles. Something happened to the Kernel32.dll and it's whacked out. No office, no media player - nothing that uses MSFT as it's core, with the exception of IE. Needless to say, I've been screaming bloody murder. Wine? Screw wine. I'm drinking bourbon. Love the subject matter and the challenge, but I'm starting to see why MBA's are arrogant jackasses. If you actually make it through these two years without dying, without getting LPs (low passes) and end up with a job, it's a feat. Right now, I'm high on 6 cups of coffee, have 100 pages to read and a case analysis due by 10:30. Did I mention I'm still sitting around in my boxers typing an email?

BTW - I park in the neversphere. After not 'winning' the lottery for a parking pass, I park in the godforsaken waste lands of the green parking lot. I've been trying to walk from the lot to class (where's Mac when you need him?) in a hope to burn off a lb or two, but ugh, it's a trek. The funny part is that the later you are, the worse is gets. So, if you're running late for class, everyone else has beat you to the lot, which means you're even farther away... Until next time.

Leaders of Tomorrow

Monday marked the start of the "Integrated Leadership Experience" that officially kicks off the school year. Day 1 featured a long, mind-numbing discertation on having "difficult conversations." The first speaker was pretty good, but the second half of the day was exceedingly painful. I'd sooner call up a proctologist and ask questions about my colon (difficult conversation) than sit through this awful experience again. Apparently, I need to work on being more direct/blunt with people and telling them what my issues are. Yeah. And Oprah needs to work on her self-confidence and introversion complex. Lesson from Monday was that there is a well-paying career in consulting for any potato head.

Day 2 was a classic ropes training day. Short version: Take a group of people out into the woods and make them do crazy things like walk a highwire 30 feet above the ground, get over a 14 foot wall and get 10 of them to stand on a 2' x 2' square while reciting things they need to improve about themselves. Going in, I thought it was going to be a nightmare. Not only do I have to walk/balance my happy ass 30 feet in the air on a cable that's about as wide as my index finger, I have to do it while being eaten alive by mosquitos and talking about what makes me happy. I came out the other side a believer and even hugged a couple of people in the process. That said, if any of you ever hear me say "I like me. I'm a good person." please take me around back and slap me around a bit.

Yesterday was "ethics and leadership day" and we argued about all things ethical. The highlight of the day was a 1 on 1 real estate transaction role play modeled after the Plaza development in NYC. In the end, I convinced the other guy to give up more ass than a $2 hooker standing outside an Amsterdam ATM stall. I guess there's hope for sales and marketing guys in B school, after all.

Downside now is that I have a TON of work to do and a 2 year old that wants to "play toys." Hope to post a bit more once classes actually set in; the last 2 weeks have been 7:30-5:30 (at least) with zero or no computer access. I've been a good boy and stayed out of the wine fridge, with the exception of a single split of dessert wine that I shared with some friends. We have a 1997 Rafanelli Terrace Select queued up for dinner on Saturday night. Happy Anniversary to me and Janis - #11. I just don't know how I've put up with the old battle axe this long...

It's All in the Cards

Well, this is it. Two and a half months of sitting on my ass and watching the Tony Danza show is coming to an end. Orientation starts tomorrow. Ack!!!

Started things off last night with a Texas Hold 'Em tourney at somebody's house. Nice guy named Matt sent out an invite to the school alias inviting anyone and everyone over to his house for beer and poker. 16 people showed up, which is really kind of cool when you consider nobody really knew anyone else there, save a couple of one-offs. Because of the size, we split into a beginner table and an advanced table with $20 buy-ins on both. I got stuck on the advanced table, which was kind of a bummer. I am UNEMPLOYED after all, and hearing "why do they call it a flush?" had dollar signs spinning around my head. First hour of the game was pretty crappy; I had one playable hand and overbet it, trying to lure one of the really aggro guys into playing. My main goal was to finish in the top 3 and see some cash, so I hung out on the sidelines most of the time and played when I could pull a cheap flop. Then the cards started coming... After staging a mini-comeback, I went head-to-head with the chip leader, who had at least a 5:1 lead on me. Guy was playing flawless poker up until that point and using his stack to bully people. I don't know if he started sniffing white-out on a cigarette break or what, but he started playing really aggressively and I snapped him in half over the course of 5 or 6 hands. He tried to bully me on the final hand, but I came back over the top and took the pot. WHOOHOO!!!

As I bask in the glory of my first victory, I thought I'd share some things that I've picked up after getting hammered over and over and over again.

• Don't play unless you have a good hand (Ace and a card, two face cards or a pair). I get killed every time I roll the dice and go for a pricey flop. I had one call that I should have NEVER made and took a boot to the head because of it. I'm still trying to get used to playing 1 out of 6 hands; it doesn't seem sporting.
• Only exception to the above rule is if you're at the end of the table and can get in with a cheap call to the blind. Every time I call the damn blind at the start, some assmonkey comes behind me and bets 10 gazillion chips, resulting in me mucking the hand and waving goodbye to my bet.
• Don't bluff. Ok, do it once in a blue moon. But realistically, we're talking about $20 in chips. It's cool to watch the World Series of Poker and see guys win with a 7/2 off-suit, but at a home game for $20... chances are I've had enough beer and could care less about my $20 to call your bluff. I swear. Almost every time I try to bluff, somebody staple-guns my ass to the wall just because they're bored. Who knows? Maybe it's just me. But I'm not backing down from a bet unless someone throws 75% of my chip count out on a bet.
• Don't play poker. It's such an irritating game. Nothing is worse than having a suited Ace King and watching some guy with a 4/8 flop 884.

So, it's off to school... The wine fridge keeps taking hits and I've officially been reduced to the Marshall Plan - Gewurtztraminer, anyone?

Updates

Lots of things to talk about, so here goes.

Went out to the Outer Banks this week for my birthday/vacation. It was really quite an experience; one normally wouldn't peg North Carolina for having $6 million homes, especially when you consider what I paid for mine here. Had a great time and laid around on the beach for 5 days. The only down side is that I couldn't find a single bar that knew what a mohito was and several actually asked me how to make a Long Island Iced Tea. Good god, you'd think I was on a different planet. Intriguing thing was that were almost NO African Americans on the islands. Almost felt like I was back in Oregon. Kind of strange, given I live in Durham now.

Deleted my "Bombing the Bombers" post. I know, I know. Talk about a sell-out. Talked to a couple of people about it (I got shelled by some random posters and responded accordingly) and the unanimous response was to not have anything of such a controversial nature availble on a google search. Hence, sell-out. It's kind of irritating, but I guess I would agree, given I'm going to business school right now. So, feel free to post and call me a pussy.

Drank a Riesling tonight. A 2003 Schloss Lieser Riesling Kabinett to be exact. Not a bad bottle of wine and it went exceptionally well with my $4.99 Costco chicken. Great deal. Driving out of the parking lot, I had one of those Buddha enlightenment moments that crossed over into a bad Jeff Foxworthy dialog. If you're looking for wine deals at Costco, your wine budget is on a budget.

School starts on Tuesday. Orientation. God, it seems like my time off went so fast... To think it was just yesterday I gave my notice and started lying on the couch. I've got 8:00 AM classes on Monday and Thursday now. ACK. Do you realize I haven't even been hitting the shower until 10:30 for the last 2.5 months?!? Arrggghhh. One last weekend to tie one on and enjoy the wild life. Cheers.

Wine With the Natives

After going to store after store after store and butcher after butcher to find tri-tip in this god-forsaken culinary wasteland, I finally found a Whole Foods in Chapel Hill (30 mins away) that carries it. To celebrate, I invited over a couple of neighbors and fired up the grill. Good times, good times.

I'm standing on my deck, beer in one hand, meat skewer in the other, and out of nowhere an ATV comes flying around the corner into my backyard. On second glance, I see it's pulling a wagon with a cooler and extra food. It's taking a little bit longer than I expected, but I think I'm finally starting to get used to North Carolina... My neighbor opens up the cooler and pulls out a couple of bottles of Natural Ice and hands me one. I'm assuming he expects me to drink it, especially since i just mentioned I needed to grab another beer. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to call myself a beer snob, but Natural Ice? What? Are we going to watch a truck pull on ESPN8 after dinner, too? As I grudgingly take the bottle, his wife comes over and says "Hey! I've got a bunch of wine coolers in my carry case, too!" Wow, all we need now is a bottle of peppermint schnapps and some Hot Damn and we'll have a gay old time.

I guess I should have seen the trainwreck coming when the wife looked at my wine fridge and said "Gosh, y'all have a lot of wine in this thingy. I sure like wine!", but I think the Natural Ice was clouding my judgment. As we sat down to the table, I caught the wife looking longingly over at the wine fridge, probably thinking to herself "1 fridge, 1 night and 1 sippy cup would make me a happy woman," so I took the bait.
"Would you care for some wine with dinner tonight?" I asked politely.
"I thought you'd never ask!" was the instant response.
Wow, did Dionne Warwick clue you in on that one on your daily call today? But, being the gracious host, I walked over and tried to find the compromise between something that she'd like and something that wouldn't have me seething for days because I whizzed it away on my friend the Bartles and Jaymes aficionado. I smiled and replied "I know just the thing" as I walked off, muttering to myself "Thank you for your support."

I returned with a 2003 Turley Old Vines Zinfandel. Logic here was it's a zin, so it goes well with tri-tip. It's $25, so I'm not going to get TOO irritated. It's sweeter than cough syrup (thank you Marshall, keep smiling and blow it out your rear), and I know she's going to love it. I opened the bottle and grabbed some nice wine glasses and came back to the table.
"Oh, no! I don't need one of those glasses. I'm fine with this one."
Hold on, let me make my surprised face. Would you like a couple of ice cubes, too? "Ok then."
"Mmmm, this shore is good. Did you get this at Harris Teeter?" (Harris Teeter is like an Albertson's)
"That would be a no. I bought it directly from them because I'm on their mailing list."
"Oh, you mean they actually send you mail to by wine?"
"Yeah, that's the gist of it. I like their stuff, so I waited for a little over a year and now they let me buy a couple of bottles at a time."
"Well that's stupid. Why don't they let you buy as much as you want?"
"Supply and Demand. I'm going back to school to learn all about it."
"Well, I'd just go to Harris Teeter, buy something and save myself the trouble."
"I'm sure you would."

And so the night from hell concluded. I'm leaving out a lot of the actual dinner conversation and other events to give you as biased a story as humanly possible, but it really was a miserable time. We had a bbq with our other neighbors this past Saturday night and had such a great time that I went back to my house and grabbed even more wine. If you took me up on my recommendation to pick up some of that 2003 A.P. Vin, you're sitting pretty right about now, because we had a spectacular bottle of it before dinner. And then we switched to cough syrup ;-)