This year's recipient is Nathaniel Clevenger of
Three Public. I have had the misfortune of working with Than on numerous occasions and the politest thing I can say based on my experiences with him is that he is profoundly lacking in professional ethics. I could go on for hours, but he'd probably call his lawyers and threaten to sue me; the guy is angrier than a three-legged pit bull with a rubber band tied around his sack. So, it brings me overwhelming joy to see him getting plastered in the news and on blogs across the country. Here's the story.
Than's PR agency was working with a Portland Development Commissioner on an exploratory committee to see if he could successfully run for office. Than's PR agency was working with a huge developer (Opus) on a major development in Portland. Than also had worked on behalf of the PDC itself in the past. So, Than's client wins a huge contract from Than's client, of whom Than's client is a member. While, I admit it smells funny, (and MSN, the Oregonian, Portland Tribune, etc. have all reported on it), I really can't believe that the commissioner involved (Matt Hennessee) would have done anything unethical. The guy is a solid, stand-up individual who has nothing but good intentions, and it is unfortunate that he got caught up in a situation that looks a lot worse than it surely is. Also, if I was Than, I'd probably be irritated that at least one of my clients was getting plastered because of my relationships, especially when he probably didn't do anything wrong to begin with. That's the background.
In a city like Portland, there are a handful of people that scurry around and turn every leaf over, hoping to find a pile of excrement that they can jump up and down and scream about. Well, one of them (a blogger) managed to turn over said leaf and find Than and confront him about the situation. After some jawing back and forth with the guy, Than appears to have either:
a) fallen down the stairs and landed head-first in front of his laptop
b) been mugged and left for dead at a keyboard in an internet cafe
c) had way to much to drink and was guilty of TWI (typing while intoxicated)
d) been abducted by aliens, who replaced his brain with bag of stale Cheetohs
e) all of the above
because Than had a complete meltdown and emailed the following message to the blogger, which I lift verbatim from the
Portland Communique.
How many people did you employ? Or, did paying an intern to help your rumor-mongering business not factor in your parents monthly support of your hobby? But enough of this childishness, how about you and me in a public debate. You bring your slander and innuendos. I'll bring a group of friends and some chips 'cause I know you can’t really afford to buy snacks on your parent’s allowance. Oh, but you’ll have to crawl out from under that rock you live under to do it. Name the place, I'll bring my friends, you bring yours (if you have any). I'd like to see you address me in public the way you do in your site - you sissy. I'd say more, but am sure you'll print every word I write and I recognize children may be reading this. I know infants are. If you don’t set a date, I'll find you at Stumptown and we can make a big show of it. Game?
For anyone else on the planet that doesn't WORK IN PUBLIC RELATIONS, this might be funny. For someone who has makes his living on being politically savvy and playing connect the dots with power players, it's downright insane. There are some other great quotes from the email
("If I seemed flip flop, I am sorry for that. Human error. You do know what that is or is your capacity for human empathy completely gone? Perhaps a lack of real human contact? " is one of my favorites. Maybe Kerry should have used that), but I'm not going to recreate the wheel here. Suffice it to say, Than had a nuclear meltdown and someone finally beat him up like an East San Jose Dollar Store pinata. End of story. Errr, oops. No.
In a stroke of sheer PR genius, Than decides to attack the guy in the comments section of his thread. At this point, I'm falling out of the chair laughing. You've got a fairly high-powered PR guy trying to beat up a blogger,
on his own blog. Hello! If you think Charlton Heston is a douschebag, you don't scream it from the rafters at a gun show. So, here's Jackass of the Year, hard at work in the comments section (cue whistling from "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly"):
OK, Bix. I'll bite. So clever with words. But, the challenge to publicly debate remains. I've read your site. You have a lot of the same folks in here. Some make sense. Some don't. So, in a nod to a John Ford plot line, I say we do this in person.
Let's see how articulate you are face-to-face. It's not a challenge to a duel, Bix. So, you want need to bulk up at the gym. You frankly sound a little paranoid. But, I think all of us are a little tired of webloggers who sling half-assed arguments while hiding behind a key board. I'm sick of advising clients to ignore people like you. Weblogs have got to stop hiding behind the first amendment when they feel it convenient.
Also, Your diatribe here is full of holes, mistakes, ridiculous fantasies (although, I do admire your creativity) and other specious claims. Some people are getting a little tired of your arrogant rantings, Bix. You don't do face-to-face, because that would mean you have actually have to speak with real live people. Where's your guts, man? Take all this clever angst you have and turn it into a real debate; one you can be proud of!
I have nothing to hide. So, let's make a date. It'll be for a good cause.
Again, this a guy that people pay lots and lots and lots of money to advise them on corporate and political communications. Response #4 in the line up comes from Portland Commissioner Randy Leonard, who appears to take offense from the "webloggers who sling half-assed arguments while hiding behind a keyboard line," given blogging is a hobby of his Oops. Than, it appears that other people read this blog, too. At this point, I've gone from a laughing fit to crying hysterically. As the bloggers rip Than's lifeless carcass to shreds, throwing body parts to the wind like a pack of famished hyenas, a lone defender rushes to his rescue. Again, read the whole thread above for the details. Than's valiant hero attacks said blogger and tries to bury the story. So the blogger, like anyone else in a similar situation would do, pulls the IP logs for his site and does some background searching (yes, I can do this to you, too). Surprise! It's one of Than's other clients, who happens to me married to one of the Three Public principals. After being outed, Than's knight in shining armor immediately posts a "we have had no official relationship with Than since January" response. The threads go on and on and on, and at this point, I'm starting to get bored. Than then threatens to sue everybody and begs the blogger to pull change his header. You see, now, when you do a search for PR guru to the stars "Nathaniel Clevenger" on Yahoo or Google, instead of finding his work with different clients, etc. you see all of the blog headlines! Bwahahahaha.
Needless to say, news in a blog world travels fast... and the above thread has been used repeatedly on different sites as examples of how not to handle PR. I have to tell you, I learned one of the hardest lessons in my life after Than threw me under a bus with a spurious email (yes, I've saved it). Sometimes, even when your integrity is questioned, you just have to grin and bear it and let a jackass like Than come out ahead. Sounds like Than could have used that lesson here... Karma sure is a bitch. Congratulations on your award, Than!
