Old Singers
Couple of years back, I found myself on a tour bus with Smashmouth talking to Steve Harwell (friend of a really close family friend). Steve is one of the nicest guys you'll ever meet and, while he can play the role of a superstar, you just don't think of him that way when you're having an every day conversation with him. We were talking about the Tesla show I just saw (not as old as the Rolling Stones, but gray and wrinkly none the less) and he said "you know, I TOTALLY get why these guys go out on tour at 45 and 50 years old. It's not really about the money - it's about getting up on stage in front of thousands of people, hearing them scream and putting on one hell of a show again."
So, I'm sitting here writing the daily mail to my little bro and Cyndi Lauper comes on Good Morning America. She looks pretty good for however old she is and is out pushing the new album. They lead her outside to the stage and, instead of playing one of her new songs and doing the "take me seriously" thing, she starts crowing her tired old 80's stuff. Let your trueeee colorrrrrs shine on through. "Awful" would be a compliment for her performance, which struck me as something between the fat, annoying, drunk chick that ruins karaoke night and a squirrel trying to gnaw his leg off to get out off a rat trap. Lauper was dressed like a slob and spent half of the first song waving a jacket around in the air like she was angry matador. I'm not quite sure what she's been doing the last 20 years, but my guess is whatever it was, it involved a 2 pack a day cigarette habit. Jesus. I know, I know. Tell me how you really feel. Or, "you try getting up on stage and belting out a tune." I'm just calling it like I see it and I saw a train wreck on stage. On the bright side, I did get to hear Steve's new single album a couple of months back and it was NOTHING like this nightmare.
Off to the store for more chocolate pretzels. Morgan is now a pooping star and gets 3 chocolate pretzels a day. Jumping up and down and cheering after each poop is taking it's toll on this old man...
So, I'm sitting here writing the daily mail to my little bro and Cyndi Lauper comes on Good Morning America. She looks pretty good for however old she is and is out pushing the new album. They lead her outside to the stage and, instead of playing one of her new songs and doing the "take me seriously" thing, she starts crowing her tired old 80's stuff. Let your trueeee colorrrrrs shine on through. "Awful" would be a compliment for her performance, which struck me as something between the fat, annoying, drunk chick that ruins karaoke night and a squirrel trying to gnaw his leg off to get out off a rat trap. Lauper was dressed like a slob and spent half of the first song waving a jacket around in the air like she was angry matador. I'm not quite sure what she's been doing the last 20 years, but my guess is whatever it was, it involved a 2 pack a day cigarette habit. Jesus. I know, I know. Tell me how you really feel. Or, "you try getting up on stage and belting out a tune." I'm just calling it like I see it and I saw a train wreck on stage. On the bright side, I did get to hear Steve's new single album a couple of months back and it was NOTHING like this nightmare.
Off to the store for more chocolate pretzels. Morgan is now a pooping star and gets 3 chocolate pretzels a day. Jumping up and down and cheering after each poop is taking it's toll on this old man...
posted by Drew | 5:49 AM
2 Comments:
Drew, I've just figured out your "issues". You feel that someone can ruin karaoke night. Karaoke, by its nature (drunk idiots singing crappy versions of songs that you've already heard too many freakin' times already), simply sucks.
I would agree right up until the 350 lb woman, who has had 10 chocolate martinis and a jumbo size tray of nachos, gets on stage and sings "I touch myself."
Post a Comment
<< Home